(801) 661-7697 steveseliger@gmail.com

Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy
Of all the forms of therapy I study and practice, working with couples is my favorite. I get to hear both sides and see both perspectives. Instead of talking about a conflict that went bad, I can have the conflict go well – right here, right now, in my office. I get to hear judgment and criticism turn into respectful and vulnerable discussions. I witness complaints as they transform into loving requests. I get to see some people learn to set limits and others develop empathy and compassion. I teach everyone how to become better listeners.
Healthy relationships take time, effort, and often require learning new skills. Along the way, you may need to discern, and then eliminate, unintentional bad habits. It’s also common to find that a core issue is causing you to be more emotionally reactive than the situation warrants. This is when working with a trained, objective, non-judgmental therapist can help you move forward more quickly and efficiently than hoping it will get better on its own.

Some common things I help clients with are:

  • Building communication and problem solving skills
  • Speaking your truth powerfully and respectfully
  • Learning to listen
  • Deepening your empathy and compassion for one another
  • Defining and upholding boundaries
  • Identifying disrespectful behavior and eliminating it
  • Building a lifestyle of kindness and generosity
  • Growing your sexual relationship
  • Developing a mutual sense of understanding, acceptance and value
  • Maintaining a set of common interests
  • Knowing how and when to let things go – and when not to
While most couples come to me seeking help with these kinds of issues, your needs may be different. I will listen carefully and help you establish a set of goals and a plan of action specifically tailored to your needs. Research shows that, when working on relationship issues, it is most effective for couples to be in counseling together, and that 90-minute sessions are more effective than 60-minute sessions. My experience corroborates this. Therefore, I usually see couples for 90-minute sessions. Occasionally there may be reason that one or both of you might wish to see me individually. Feel free to talk with me about any concerns you might have and I will be happy to advise and accommodate.

Therapy Basics

  • -I like to start and end our sessions on time. It is helpful, but not necessary, to show up a few minutes early.
  • -1 hour sessions are 50 minutes long, 1.5 hour sessions are 80 minutes long.
  • -At times I find it necessary to extend a session for a few minutes. Please be patient and understand that I will do my best to make sure you get your full time allotment.
  • -Individual therapy sessions are usually one hour long – but we can arrange longer if circumstances dictate.
  • -Couples sessions are usually 1.5 hours long. Longer or shorter sessions can be arranged when appropriate.
  • -Payment is due at the time of service unless otherwise arranged.

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Related Resources

Setting Limits

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Limits only make sense in the light of consistent healthy agreements.  In the discussion of healthy agreements, I explained the importance of treating one another with dignity and respect, regardless of the subject. These agreements ensure that no matter how difficult...

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The importance of listening

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Someone I once knew told me that we should listen twice as much as we speak because God gave us two ears and only one mouth.  At first blush, it would seem that listening would be a relatively easy – even passive act.    If only it were so easy.  Of all the skills I...

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